The Mighty Pen (& a still dangerous sword)

In the early part of the 19th century, English author Edward Bulwer-Lytton wrote “the pen is mightier than the sword.” It’s been the battle cry for the meek ever since, giving hope to those hopeless of pushing their way to, and over, the top. It’s the rallying cry, the last bastion for the meek in their quest to actually inherit the Earth.


It sounds nice; almost utopian, in a manner of … typing. Over the long-term, it might even be accurate. Key is “over the long-term.” I can’t help but noticing while watching democratic protests streaming from around the world on CNN to my comfy, warm, corner bar that the first attempts to counter swords with written words sort of ends up as a bit of a disaster for those very first to draw the battle lines.

Of course, there’re no pens these days, or swords to for that matter. The pen went out with stationary. Seriously, has anyone outside of Japan, home of the 5-story stationary store, seen a piece of stationary in the last decade? Today’s pen and paper is a high-speed network connection and social media platforms. Unfortunately for the initial protestors, those trailblazing mavericks of social unrest, the sword too has been replaced – by high-powered bullets and rifles.

Old regimes in Tunisia and Egypt have toppled, and the impact of the modern day pen (the internet) on those revolutions, cannot be underestimated. However, those regimes, and those currently under duress in Bahrain, Libya, and even, shhh, keep it on the down low, China and Iran, have a fondness to embrace the quick first response, that of violent attack and repression.

You don’t bring a smartphone and a Twitter feed to a gun fight, unless what you’re going for is martyr status. So, while others rejoice in the revolution and the freedom that invariably springs from it, try convincing the families of the over 250 dead in Libya that the ‘pen is mightier than the sword.”

History will remember those with the pens fondly, but for my liking, I’m making sure me and my pens stoke the fire of the revolution safely ensconced in some pub, far away from the rat-a-tat-tat of some kid’s AK. Those on the wire might be advised to turn tail and get the hell back. That or trade in their pens for bigger pens that go “bang.”

Viva la revolucion.

Tweet me up @RayHartjen

The Week's Sign of the Apocalypse

Turning the pages of the "news" paper this morning, I saw the following:

Kim Kardashian will receive $50,000 for celebrating her 29th birthday in Las Vegas.

Are you shitting me?

Now, a disclaimer: the source article is a scoop from the New York Post, which isn't exactly the bedrock of journalistic integrity. I wouldn't be sruprised if it was nothing more than an "ad" placed by some scum bag publicist to garner more attention for a person who seems to be a professional at garnering attention for no reason of any social significance.

Of course, it's true. You can feel it in the fiber of your soul, can't you?

Kim gets her ridiculous bounty for placing her also ridiculous booty in theoft-too trendy Tao nighclub in the Venetian Hotel. We, as civilized members of society, are called upon to rise up and do something about this nonsense. Dr. Ray's Rx for the cultural revolution includes:

• Join me in boycotting the Venetian and Tao. I frequent Vegas on occasion, and while they won't miss my hundreds on the gaming tables, collectively, they might miss our thousands. Who am I kidding? they won't miss us. But, the Venetian, as pretty as it is, sucks anyways. If you want to go to Venice, go to the real Venice - it might even be less expensive. As for Vegas, all the fun is on the other side, and other end, of the street. As for Tao, my shoes are never nice enought to get in, so it's not like I have to change my behavior. If you're reading this, my guess is you won'thave to either.
• Now for the more, er, delicate step. Everyone in attendance - particularly the nobodies who paid a huge cover just to get in the same party with pooper princess Kim - needs to be "fixed." No, not rehabilitated, as there is no effective manner of rehabilitation for celebutard ass kissing or jock sniffing (the two are often interlocked as one debilitating illness). By fixed, I mean sterilized. It's not eugenics, it's common sense. We don't need more ignorance and vanity in the gene pool.

There you have it, a quick two-step fix to begin to get our society back on the fast track to the right track. The next step is one I take alone - kicking Spencer Pratt's ass in a cage fight.

Join me brothers and sisters - the cultural revolution continues!

Sound the battle cry on Twitter @RayHartjen