Stupid is as stupid does

Sometimes the stupidity we humans display is mind-boggling, don’t you think? Potential causes are aplenty. Some can clearly be pinned on genetics, biology, and just plain ol’ fashioned bad luck of drawing the short straw. Yeah, that’s a pisser. But, what about societal stupidity – plain “learned” stupidity based on being self-centered and unwilling to sacrifice one iota for a more collective good?


Don’t think it happens? Let me present case in point #1 (and, it will be the only case, because I fear my martini will lose its chill, and that won’t be good for anyone).

You're certainly familiar with Sun Chips. You know, those chips you think are good for you because they’re called “Sun Chips” – evokes some kind of vegan utopia of natural ingredients and low fat content. Anyway, a little while ago they introduced new packaging – a completely biodegradable package; the first of its kind, made entirely of plant matter, not plastic.

Earlier this month, Frito-Lay announced they were going to abandon the innovative, eco-friendly, “green” packaging. Now, why would they do something that stupid, you ask?

Short answer: because people are stupid.

Long answer: Consumers complained vigorously. The roots of the complaints, however – in my opinion – didn’t lie with the bag, but rather consumers themselves. People just aren’t willing to sacrifice one bit of modern convenience and pampering. Frito-Lay is discontinuing the bag because of complaints that it’s too loud.

Yes, you heard that correctly, it’s loud.

Go ahead. Look it up online. Go to YouTube – there’re a lot of videos out there about the topic. True, the packaging is louder, I'll even admit it's just flat out loud, but for cryin’ out loud, it’s completely compostable and biodegradable. In no time at all, the package turns into fertilizer. Alternative plastic bags, on the other hand, continue to pile up in the oceans for generations. Not generations of marine wildlife; generations of stupid human wildlife.

So, what’s good for Mother Nature and the planet goes away because of bunch of fat, sodium-addicted, mental Neanderthals are too f’ing lazy to put their guilty pleasure snack in a bowl so they can better hear Jerry Springer while they sit on their vinyl covered sofas?

Are you f’ing kidding me?

I need a drink. Now, where did I put that glass?

This morning’s sign of the apocalypse

There are a few tell tale signals that society is going to hell in a hand basket. The first is that people sit around on bar stools all day criticizing others while offering nothing productive in return. Yes, it hits a little close to home, but it’s rather unavoidably obvious, now isn’t it?


An even more obvious sign that the apocalypse is hitting, though, lies with the simple observation of Monday morning habits in the office.

First off, it’s a generally accepted rule of a civilized society that the first person in the office – particularly on a Monday – does not make a pot of decaf coffee first.

Never!

Bloody hell, people, that’s a mortal sin.

But, wait, that’s not all!

Making decaf may have been a mistake. Granted, a mistake that earns one a non-stop, shinkansen bullet train ticket to hell; but, in the end, just a mistake. There’s still hope for saving your entire family from a fate of eternal damnation. That punishment is reserved for the cretin idiots who stop making coffee after their pot of decaf is completed.

WTF?

Would it kill you to at least start a pot of “real” coffee before you slink off to your cube and your miserable, decaffeinated existence?

There was once an age of civilization where people dressed up to fly on commercial airplanes, where restaurants, movies, and everyplace in-between weren’t disturbed with incessant mobile phone chatter, and when people had the collective common decency and courtesy to brew more than just their own shitty decaf coffee.

Yes, the apocalypse is upon us, and just one more reason to slip a little Bailey’s Irish Crème into your morning coffee.