When pulling your Weiner will be okay

Our national media obsession of all things Weiner and wieners ended – at least we hope ended – today as U.S. Congressman Anthony Weiner (D. New York) resigned his elected position. The once-promising high flyer for the Democratic party, and a very likely future mayor of New York City at that, came crashing down to Earth in a humiliating scandal derived from risqué pictures sent via Twitter.

Now, have you seen the picture that caused all the hubbub? Really, a little chub, a bit of wood in a pair of jockeys, caused all that?

In the first place, what’s the big deal, anyway? This is the day and age of ubiquitous social media platforms and connected hardware devices, of information overload and whatever the hell “sexting” is. If you haven’t sent an inappropriate picture of yourself over the internet, you're just not trying - it’s just a matter of when, not if.

It’s always something pushing the boundaries in politics. What’s one’s cross to bear and a career ender in one decade becomes a non-issue in the next. Remember the idea of Ronald Reagan becoming president, and the scandalous thought that he had once been … divorced!

Bill Clinton famously – and barely - escaped the drug use fervor created by his “never inhaled” stance. Eight years later, the United States voted in the silver-spooned cocaine cowboy, George W. Bush and his DUI conviction past. Who the hell knows what Obama has done. We don’t know, simply because we don’t care enough to ask. Drug usage is so … last generation.

Of course, nothing changes the fact that Weiner is out on his, uh, butt, and things aren’t looking good for the career public servant. He hasn’t ever had a real job, and he has no business or law degree. What’s next for him, other than his recent job offer from Hustler’s Larry Flynt? American politics have given some pretty outrageous second and third chances before.

Well, hello Marion Barry, how long have you been standing there?

We’re won’t have Weiner to kick around once all this fades into history sometime in the next 42 minutes. Oh, there will be the hard-to-resist Weiner jokes, “pulling the Weiner,” so to speak. The lasting legacy will be a redefinition of what’s appropriate or inappropriate to tweet, post, etc. The bar has been raised – or lowered, depending on how one looks at it. Everyone is going to have a picture, you just wait and see.

A couple of more martinis, and I just might tweet out mine tonight.
Look for my photos on Twitter @RayHartjen

But, does every vote HAVE to count?

Oh, the boys in the bar love a good political story on TV, what if there’re no sports on ESPN, ESPN 2, ESPNU, “ESPN the ocho,” etc. Democracy and dictatorship – those are two topics, often morphing into a singular one that makes for a spirited debate between sips of spirits.

Let me go on the record here: As a devout believer in democracy, freedom, and liberty, deep down I don’t really have any strong objections against tyrannical dictatorship as long as one simple rule is observed, and that is that I get to be the dictator.

Not coincidentally, the same goes for censorship; if I’m the censor, then no problem.

Alas, break the simple rules, and all doesn’t seem so bright, right and rosy.

Anyway, the subject of voting came up between martinis it conjured back memories of a flight I had into Oakland International Airport – an awfully regal name earned by having a daily flight to Mexico, or what we often call South San Diego - 12 or 13 years ago, before I relocated to the Bay area. Pre-9/11, this was when the rental car lots were right across from the terminals, a brisk 45 second walk through the congregation of smokers who cloud the vicinity of every public building on the west coast.

I showed my Washington license to the National attendant, who offhandedly remarked, “Oh, Washington, D.C.”

I politely corrected her. “Washington state,” I replied.

Naturally, she said …

… wait for it …

… “What’s the difference?”

Where to begin? Geographically? Politically? Ideologically? Existentially?

I decided to take the Kindergarten approach and said, “Washington, D.C. is the nation’s capital, on the east coast, between Maryland and Virginia, while Washington state is two states above California here on the west coast, you know, where Seattle is.”

“Uh, yeah, whatever. Will you be returning the car full of fuel or would you like to prepay the entire tank?”

I drove off that day in my non-descript, no frills GM fleet car with a profound realization. Being old enough to have a job meant that dumb ass was old enough to vote. Granted, I don’t know if she was smart enough to vote, but she was certainly old enough to vote, although working at the Oakland airport meant it was possible, if not entirely probable, that she was a convicted felon, and therefore prohibited by law from exercising that right.

I enjoy hearing public policy debate and commenting to a friend that I am looking forward to canceling her vote with my opposite vote at the polls. That perspective is so much more funny than the realization that some dumb ass “what’s the difference between Washington D.C. and Washington state” voter might cancel out my own vote.

Oh my, I just thought of it – What if she actually voted with me? What would that say about my choices?

Nah, that’s just nonsense.

So, the true realities present themselves. We’ve got to get people out to vote, but we’ve got to get the right people out to vote. You know, the right people – the people who see things as I see them.

If you end up with too many voters like that National attendant, you’ll likely end up with Sarah Palin in office. Then, when she’s in her U-Haul driving around Seattle looking for the White House, we’re going to have to bring that entire Washington D.C./Washington state debate to a bigger, broader public forum, and that’s something I just don’t know if I have the stomach for anymore.

Hit me on Twitter @RayHartjen.