The Week's Sign of the Apocalypse

Turning the pages of the "news" paper this morning, I saw the following:

Kim Kardashian will receive $50,000 for celebrating her 29th birthday in Las Vegas.

Are you shitting me?

Now, a disclaimer: the source article is a scoop from the New York Post, which isn't exactly the bedrock of journalistic integrity. I wouldn't be sruprised if it was nothing more than an "ad" placed by some scum bag publicist to garner more attention for a person who seems to be a professional at garnering attention for no reason of any social significance.

Of course, it's true. You can feel it in the fiber of your soul, can't you?

Kim gets her ridiculous bounty for placing her also ridiculous booty in theoft-too trendy Tao nighclub in the Venetian Hotel. We, as civilized members of society, are called upon to rise up and do something about this nonsense. Dr. Ray's Rx for the cultural revolution includes:

• Join me in boycotting the Venetian and Tao. I frequent Vegas on occasion, and while they won't miss my hundreds on the gaming tables, collectively, they might miss our thousands. Who am I kidding? they won't miss us. But, the Venetian, as pretty as it is, sucks anyways. If you want to go to Venice, go to the real Venice - it might even be less expensive. As for Vegas, all the fun is on the other side, and other end, of the street. As for Tao, my shoes are never nice enought to get in, so it's not like I have to change my behavior. If you're reading this, my guess is you won'thave to either.
• Now for the more, er, delicate step. Everyone in attendance - particularly the nobodies who paid a huge cover just to get in the same party with pooper princess Kim - needs to be "fixed." No, not rehabilitated, as there is no effective manner of rehabilitation for celebutard ass kissing or jock sniffing (the two are often interlocked as one debilitating illness). By fixed, I mean sterilized. It's not eugenics, it's common sense. We don't need more ignorance and vanity in the gene pool.

There you have it, a quick two-step fix to begin to get our society back on the fast track to the right track. The next step is one I take alone - kicking Spencer Pratt's ass in a cage fight.

Join me brothers and sisters - the cultural revolution continues!

Sound the battle cry on Twitter @RayHartjen